a Confession..

::15-04-05::

It’s Friday and its 7.25pm already but I’m still in the office.

A long conversation with my superior that makes me stays back in the office till now. How many of u are really can have a conversation with their superior after office our? I mean u can talk or say about anything u want? Feel free and comfortable to share some thought or some stories with their boss?

I would consider myself is lucky to have a superior which is so nice and understanding. Even though we’re always tight up with a tight schedule or works everyday, but after office hour our usually we would spend about half an hours or more by just talking or sharing our thoughts or our past lives or about certain issues.. is that great? Or is it weird?

Previously, most of our stories or topics would consist of our childhood lives, school period, university days and sometimes on current lives. But today topic was quite hot and interesting though some of u may think that it is just a normal thing…Hummm... are u ready to hear what am I gonna to say after this? Hehe.. sure dah tak sabar2 aite? :D

Actually I’ve wrote about this things before but I never say anything about myself… It’s all about “smoking” !!!.. …Yes… you’re damn right if u might say it is just a common thing, but to some people it is not a common or normal thingy. I don’t know how its started but Yes..…I do smoking … don’t ask me why ….. it’s quite complicated..

That’s what my superior asked me today – face to face just to make sure either is it true I smoke?.. and the answer is : “Yes, boss, I do smoke..”.. she noticed a pack of cigarettes inside my pocket earlier ( a few months back she said) but haven’t had a chance to ask me.. because she said I didn’t look like a smoker at all.. and she can't believe that i smoke!!..

I agree when she said I don’t look like a smoker at all because not so many people that I knew knows I’m smoking.. want to know why?

The reason is simple:
1. I’m not a heavy smoker.
2. I can stop smoking whenever I like..whenever i want...
3. I only starts smoke when I’m really got serious issues in my life.
4. I don’t smoke in front of certain peoples in my life. Eg: my parents, relatives, some friends, childrens, babies, and women that I care most… why?? It is not because I’m afraid of or trying to hide it anyway….but it’s all due to the word “RESPECT”… I think u get what I mean…
5. Nway, I’m in the midst to stop smoking forever... Hopefully..

I'm always pray to God so that i can have a strength to fight and stop this bad habits and it’s been about 3 months without a single cigarette as at today - 15 April 2005.

But there’s always a bad impression for the smokers rite?? either he/she is a heavy or a social smoker. Once u’re a smoker, people always think u’re a bad people. But Hey!!!! please don’t judge the book by its cover. For me, it’s nothing wrong with it, nway it’s just a cigarette and not a “DRUGS” ok?? Unless I’m taking drugs, then only u can say it’s bad and really2 bad things i've done in my life...

I do know smoking is bad and not good for health. I do know the impact or the side effect if we smoke. It can cause lung cancer, heart attack and etc.. .i do know about all that stuff… but I do not know why am I smoking… its pretty complicated to explain…

But I do know how I start smoking? U may laugh if u want, but that’s leads me to this smoking world…. It’s all because of “L.O.V.E”…and yes, I can't stop if u wanna to say that I’m a stupid asshole if I start smoking because of that… and seriously that’s really happened to me...and i'm not proud of it...but nothing can change the history and memories remains forever. For 18 years I haven’t touch or smoke any cigarettes, but “L.O.V.E” leads me to this smoking world and changes everything including my perspective about this lives.. .....Nway, let it be a history of mine..

Oh well! Tomorrow, I’ll be out for treasure hunting to Genting..…Wish me luck eh! :D

So, c u guys after I get back. Till then. Have a lovely weekend dude!! ;)

Sign!